Just a Second
by Ayu the Messiah
Summary: It had been short, it had been sweet and now that it was over he realized how precious it had been.


**Title: Just a Second  
Author: **Ayu**  
Pairing: **Tim/Ryan**  
Fandom: **CSI:Miami**  
Rating: T  
Theme: **_20. Goodbyes make you realize what you've gained, what you've felt, and what you've taken for granted._**  
Disclaimer: **This literary work is a piece of fan fiction. _CSI: Miami_, and all associated content (whether trademarked, copyrighted or otherwise protected by U.S. or international law) are property of CBS and Jerry Bruckheimer and/or their registered trademark and copyright holders.  
**Word Count:** 774  
**Warning:** Slash!

**Beta:** Honey (Thank you!)

**A/N:** Damn! Why didn't they ever meet in the show? And this is for Ihu, like most likely everything that I write *drop*

_**Summary:**_ It had been short, it had been sweet and now that it was over he realized how precious it had been.

----

How long had it been since he got the message that had changed his life forever? How many nights had he laid in his bed, tears streaming down his cheeks without him being able to actually stop them?  
The brown-haired man didn't know anymore and it didn't matter. It was too long, but then again who wouldn't feel like this when the most precious person in their life was suddenly gone and would never come back. He was dead, lifeless, never to be seen again.

Taking a shuddering breath he sat up, grabbing a framed picture he had placed on his nightstand, looking at it intently. It showed a time where they had been happy, a time when he had still been alive. It showed them. Ryan could still remember the day this picture was made. He and his boyfriend had been on their second date, totally in love and happy to be in each other's company. With both of them working for the police they had a very busy schedule and it wasn't as easy as it may seem to actually find a time where they could both have a day off. So if they managed it they promised each other to make the most of it. And they did. A sad yet somewhat happy smile played across Ryan's lips as he thought back to all the things they had done. He could still feel the undying love he had felt for the other man. Never would he have guessed that their time was this limited.

Ever since he had met the CSI there had been no doubt in Ryan's mind that he wanted to stay at his side for all eternity, if possible. And when given the chance he had been more than happy to agree. Never had someone shown this much love and affection towards him, and the more he got to know about the dark-haired man the more he fell in love with him. If only he had a clue on what happed shortly after. If only he would have had a chance to prevent it. But he didn't and so he had to live with the fact that the person he loved more then his own life was shot down during duty.

Working as an officer he always had known about the risks that came along with the job, yet he had never dreamed about this. He had never thought about it really happening to someone close to him, but it had.

The hardest thing had been to stay calm and collected when the news came out. He had to keep his professionalism while at work, just to break down in heartbreaking sobs as soon as he had set a foot on his own home. Everything had been over right then and there. His whole world came crashing down around him without anything to hold it together anymore. It was still a miracle how he had pulled himself out of this. It still hurt. Hurt like nothing ever before, and Ryan wasn't too sure that this pain would ever leave him alone. Just like Tim. Some people might think he was going insane, but there where days when he was sure the older man was by his side somehow, watching him. He probably should feel ashamed for himself and put himself together at last, but it wasn't that easy. To loose something this precious makes you realize how short and valuable life actually was. He hadn't been ready to say goodbye. Not when their relationship had only begun, but fate had decided differently. So what had he left to do? When his lover was shot, his life changed in just a second. And even though everything seemed crumbled and crashed without any reason for him to go on, he knew that he had to. He would, that was something he had sworn himself, knowing that Tim would have never appreciated it otherwise. So maybe it was time to do what he and Tim had planned on doing. Maybe it was time for him to try and get a job as CSI, just like they had talked about. It would have been so much easier for them if they have had the chance to work with each other. Side by side. It wasn't going to happen anymore, but Tim had always dreamed about this and Ryan was determined to make it happen.

What they had was sweet and way to short. It made him realize how precious life could be and no matter what he was sure he would never forget Timothy Speedle, the man who still had his heart.


End file.
